Is it wrong to wish for this?

With John McCain's nagging condescension towards Barack Obama over foreign policy near the end of last night's debate, is it unrealistic or unfair to wonder if the "straight-talking" senator from Arizona is going to address Barack Obama as "son" or "boy" in one of the next two debates? Seriously. How many times did McCain say that Obama "fails to understand" some aspect of world affairs? More importantly, how many times did McCain make this claim despite the fact that Obama showed greater understanding of and clearer foresight into the complex nature of world affairs than did McCain himself? But Senator McCain's arrogance did not end there. Of course he pulled out that old reliable Republican trick of loudly and entirely misquoting (or taking out of context) many of Barack Obama's past statements on foreign policy matters while assuming nobody - even Obama himself - would call him on it. At one point McCain even had the nerve to become agitated when Obama accurately cited Henry Kissinger's claim that the United States should enter into talks with Iran without any pre-conditions. McCain's response to Obama's citation of Kissinger's public disavowing of the horribly unrealistic, juvenile and failed approach to foreign policy initiated by President Bush was sadly predictable: "I've known him [Mr. Kissinger] for thirty-five years" and . . . and . . . and well, ok, Senator, you are seventy-two years old, so you've probably known plenty of people for a long time. We get that point; but "I've known Mr. Kissinger for thirty-five years" is not the same as "I've known Mr. Kissinger for thirty-five years and therefore know every comment he's ever made about foreign policy in his entire life." This is the best McAngry can bring to a national debate on foreign policy?

After twenty-six years in congress, one would think John McCain could play the game with a cooler head - not to mention more facts - but that is simply not the case. McCain was becoming agitated by Obama's reference to Kissinger, and with the truth (or, more accurately, the knowledge that he didn't even know the truth) not on his side, McCain began to lose the battle at hand and had to change focus. Historically speaking, once McCain starts to lose an argument or lose his focus, it has often been just a matter of time before he loses his cool as well. This is why, however unlikely, it may not be completely unfair to wonder if John McCain will slip in a "son" or a "boy" somewhere in a drawn-out emotional exchange with Barack Obama during one of the debates. After all, jokingly or not, the man did call his wife a cunt in public.

It would be outrageous and offensive if John McCain were to make such a slip of the tongue, of course. Nonetheless, I kind of hope he makes it. Realistically, if it were to happen, any fair-minded and undecided voter who had not been turned away by the Sarah Palin nomination surely would be turned away by that kind of racially-tinged condescension. And after all the lies presented by the McCain campaign, it would be ironic – and infinitely delightful – to see a moment of revolting honesty from the senator himself become the final nail in the coffin of his own sleazy campaign.

A moment of silence, please . . .

Paul Newman has passed away. And I don't believe there's anybody to take his place among the good guys, either.

Sean Payton needs to have his head examined

Often times in matters of pro football, neither the fans nor the sportswriters have enough information with which to make truly informed opinions. The New Orleans Saints' current situation with rehabilitated running back Deuce McAllister, however, is not one of those times.

For those not in the know here, Deuce McAllister is one of the most dedicated, toughest athletes ever to put on any uniform in any sport. He tore the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee early in the 2005 season and then returned the next year to run for over 1,000 yards along with ten touchdowns (by comparison, Edgerrin James, considered to be one of the premier running backs in the NFL at the time of his ACL injury back in 2001, accumulated almost as many yards - 989 to be exact - but with only two touchdowns in his first season back from ACL surgery in 2002). In the third game in the 2007 season, Deuce tore the ACL in his left knee, requiring yet another off-season of intense rehabilitation. Anybody who had ever watched Deuce McAllister's efforts with the Saints (including myself) had absolutely no doubt that Deuce would be able to return successfully from a second ACL surgery at the age of twenty-nine, an age that is considered "old" by NFL running back standards. (Frank Gore is the only other running back currently playing in the NFL who has had ACL surgeries on each leg; Gore, however, suffered both injuries while in college at an age when the body is much more able to rebound from such formerly catastrophic injuries.). And thus far, in what little Deuce has been allowed to show in the 2008 season, he appears to have made the successful comeback he had expected to make.

Despite Deuce's proclamation to be ready for this season as well as his having ably carried the load in the first half of the last exhibition game versus the Miami Dolphins, head coach Sean Payton has given the ball to the remarkable running back only twice all season. The only thing Deuce did with those two carries is gain ten yards for a 5.0 average, which is far better than either Reggie Bush or Pierre Thomas has been able to average in much more extensive action. Coach Payton's decision to leave Deuce on the bench was especially puzzling (and downright enraging, really) when the Saints failed to convert on a 4th-and-goal from the 1-yard line in the first half and then again on 3rd-and-1 in Denver territory late in yesterday's loss to the Broncos. The question almost every Saints fan has been wondering (besides, "What in the name of Carl Smith was coach Payton thinking when he called the same play that had failed three previous times on 3rd-and-1?") was obvious: "What in the name of Carl Smith was Deuce doing standing on the sidelines when the Saints needed a mere one yard to all but win the game yet again?" It is this question that Sean Payton simply cannot answer in a satisfactory manner.

All the evidence is there: Deuce was healthy enough to carry the ball eleven times in a meaningless exhibition game against the Dolphins - when injuries are not any less likely to occur than in a regular season game (just ask Osi Umenyiora of the Giants) - but is now being held out of games until Payton feels that Deuce "is ready." In essence, Sean Payton is saying that he's not willing to risk having Deuce re-injure his leg in order to help the team in crucial situations, but he is willing to risk having Deuce re-injure his leg with absolutely nothing to gain in the process. Does this rationale make any sense to anybody over the age of six? If Deuce is going to get hurt, coach, I guarantee you that he would prefer to get injured while trying to make a relevant contribution to the team, not while mopping up the floor with meaningless carries. That would be a complete waste, wouldn't it be? And almost every fan would agree, I'm sure.

Furthermore, as John DeShazier of the Times-Picayune pointed out, if coach Payton is so sure that Deuce is not ready to carry the ball, then why does he allow Deuce to dress for the game at all? Why not activate an extra player on defense, where injuries have taken a huge toll on its abilitiy to stop opposing offenses? Does this decision mean that coach Payton can't determine a mere two days before the game whether or not Deuce will be able to carry the ball at all? He can determine whether or not Scott Fujita, Aaron Glenn, Aaron Stecker, Mike McKenzie and every other injured player is physically able to participate, but that Deuce's physical condition is so extraordinary that his ability cannot be determined at the same time? Ridiculous, I tell you.

The most damning piece of evidence, however, is Deuce McAllister himself: granted, it was only two carries, but Deuce looked as good as any other Saints RB in those two carries versus Washington. Not only that, but Deuce has historically been the RB to carry the ball in short yardage situations - and he has historically been good at delivering what the Saints needed, too.

I've heard some people speculating that Payton is "saving" Deuce for later in the season when the Saints will "really" need him. Well guess what: those late-season games won't be nearly as important if the Saints don't start winning today. And obviously neither Reggie Bush nor Pierre Thomas is having much success on 3rd or 4th & 1, which leaves no logical explanation for Sean Payton's decision to keep Deuce on the bench.

We can only hope that coach Payton sees the error of his ways before yet another late-game short-yardage failure costs the Saints another victory. If this happens just a couple of more times, any action Deuce - along with everybody else on the Saints' roster - sees after mid-season will have been rendered completely meaningless by the head coach's currently inexplicable way of making decisions.

Defying Science (Yet Again): The Republican Party Sinks Even Lower

Just when you finally had accepted the fact that the Republican Party will ceaselessly lower the level of their own shamelessness, they manage to sink so quickly that one is still shocked. It wasn't shameless enough to constantly criticize Barack Obama's readiness to serve as President and then nominate one of the most unqualified politicians ever to serve as backup President for an elderly, near senile presidential candidate with a history of health problems. Nor was it shameless enough for Republicans to warn Americans that they can expect Obama and the Democratic majority in Congress to spend taxpayer money recklessly even after a completely Republican-controlled government spent taxpayer money like a bunch of coked-up heiresses on Rodeo Drive while running up the biggest budget deficits in U.S. history. And – somehow, some way – it still wasn't shameless enough for John McCain and Sarah Palin to criticize Barack Obama for the amount of earmarks he requested the U.S Congress in 2007 for his state – $25 per resident, to be exact – even though Sarah Palin requested earmarks at a rate of $295 per resident as governor of Alaska! No, none of those ridiculously baseless criticisms of Barack Obama were shameless enough to satisfy the apparently insatiable Republican appetite for self delusion and hypocrisy.

A statement made yesterday by McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, however, might just be enough to satisfy the Republican need for hypocrisy, self-delusion and self-pity all in one. With complete and utter sincerity – or with what passes as complete and utter sincerity for a Republican – Mr. Davis told Fox News (who else!) that Governor Palin would not grant any more interviews (after the one interview she gave to ABC's unofficial Republican liaison Charles Gibson) until – get ready, folks – she can "be treated with respect and deference" by the media!

Holyshiteatingbunchofmotherfuckincracksmokingsonsofbitches!

What did that colossal asshole just say?!!? Did he really say that the media needs to treat Governor Palin with "respect and deference"? By "respect and deference," can we assume Mr. Davis was referring to the same kind of "respect and deference" the media showed, say, Vietnam veteran and longtime senator John Kerry in 2004? Or Vice-President and future Nobel Prize winner Al Gore in 2000? Or President Bill Clinton during the absurd, grotesque theatre of the Monica Lewinsky "scandal"? Oh, wait – not that kind of "respect and deference" from the media, stupid American citizen! No, Mr. Davis was referring to the kind of respect and deference the media has shown to somebody like, say . . . John McCain. You know, the kind of respect and deference that allows members of the Associated Press to sit down and share shits, giggles and donuts with Senator McCain! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB7EDnW-yns] Ahh, yes, that kind of respect!

You see, folks, self-pity and victimization are huge – and I mean huge – parts of the Republican Playbook. If you were to ask a Republican, he would quickly identify his own white self as the most put-upon person in the entire United States of America. Let us now pity the poor, downtrodden, trampled-upon average Republican, for he is a victim many times over: he has to pay higher taxes than everybody else; his guns are always on the verge of being confiscated by the government; his marriage is in danger of being defiled by those dastardly homosexual monogamists; his peace of mind is being chipped away because violent criminals are not being executed by the state; his religion is not being allowed to infiltrate every part of the government; his job – and nobody else's – is habitually threatened by the influx of illegal immigrants; he has to pay for every other child's education; his children are threatened with the possibility of learning about sex rather than being shielded from it; his self-worth is always being brought down by all those uppity women want to get paid the same amount of money he gets for doing the same job; he actually has to compete with minorities now for the jobs his forefathers were guaranteed; and, of course, the mainstream media is always out to destroy his preferred political leaders and ideals.

How many Republican campaign speeches and commercials have been filled with some or most of – if not all of – the scenarios listed above? Oh, you've never seen a Republican openly declare he is against equal pay for women? Well, truth be told, neither have I. Obviously, almost no political candidate is going to come out and declare that he doesn't want women to make the same amount of money men do for performing the same job; however, the fact that almost no Republican ever publicly declares that leveling the paying field is a priority says enough. After all, silence is approval; by not speaking up for true equality, Republican candidates merely affirm that the unequal status quo is working just fine for them. Every other scenario has been explicitly stated as a platform, though their obvious psychological motivations are often left unstated, of course.

All of those Republican self-pitying scenarios have one thing in common, and it sticks out like a gay black woman at their national convention: each of them is patently absurd. And that's what this claim of the media's lack of "respect and deference" toward Sarah Palin is: a gigantic and utterly absurd piece of political poo-poo. Please, Mr. Davis – the media is not showing Ms. Palin the proper respect and deference? Then what were all of those banner headlines praising her speech at the Republican National Convention? Some of those reviews even argued that her speech may have saved the Republican Party itself; those certainly didn't seem like career-killing reviews to me. Still not satisfied with the amount of respect the media gave her after that speech? OK, first things first, Mr. Davis: Sarah Palin isn't the Queen of England. She's not even the Queen of Alaska; she's the governor of Alaska, a state that ranks near the bottom in population and infrastructural needs (and before that was the mayor of town of close to 9,000 people, wherein she infamously tried to start banning books almost immediately upon taking office). However small the town of Wasilla or state of Alaska might be, however, being mayor of the former and then governor of the latter surely should command everyone's respect . . . unless by "everyone" you're including Republicans, that is. If I recall, Republicans, your favorite character assassin-turned-political "analyst" Karl Rove showed a complete lack of respect and deference to Barack Obama's once-presumed running mate, governor Tim Kaine of Virginia. What were Mr. Rove's less-than-glowing words about governor Kaine? Hmm . . .

Well, with all due respect again to Gov. Kaine, he's been a governor for three
years. He's been able but undistinguished; I don't think people could really
name a big, important thing that he's done. He was mayor of the 105th largest
city in America. Again, with all due respect to Richmond, Virginia, it's smaller
than Chula Vista, California, Aurora, Colorado, Mesa or Gilbert, Arizona, North
Las Vegas or Henderson, Nevada. It's not a big town.

Soon after Sarah Palin had been nominated, a spokesperson for Barack Obama's campaign, Bill Burton, pointed out the GOP's double standard of criticizing Obama's lack of experience while possibly placing somebody with even less experience a very delicate heartbeat away from the White House:

Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign
policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency. Governor Palin
shares John McCain's commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big
Oil and continuing George Bush's failed economic policies -- that's not the
change we need, it's just more of the same.

One person's lack of respect is a Republicans' refreshingly honest political analysis – when a Republican is refreshingly not showing the respect, that is! So, what was a piece of candid political analysis by the insidious Karl Rove a mere four weeks ago magically morphed into an utter lack of respect and deference on the part of the Democrats and their cohorts in the "liberally biased" mainstream media. And the only thing that changed was the subject of the criticism.

But this type of criticism was merely the beginning of the incessant Republican whine-fest. The truly unbearable display of self-pity and victimization by the Republican Party began when more of Governor Palin's personal life came to light. Naturally, because Governor Palin was all but unknown, the mainstream media was completely abuzz trying to find out anything about John McCain's hockey mom-turned-running mate. So what did the media do? Well, it did its fucking job – that's what it did! It uncovered the fact that the very religious Governor Palin, who is vigorously anti-choice and firmly believes in abstinence-only sex education, has a teenage daughter who, from all available evidence, is either a slow learner or simply a non-believer in abstinence-only sex education. In either case, she is living proof that her mother's belief in abstinence-only sex education simply does not work; after all, if you can't prevent your own daughter from being impregnated through that kind of education, how are you going to prevent inner-city girls from being impregnated via the same means? But the media didn't cover Bristol Palin's pregnancy from that approach (of course not, because that approach would have been responsible!); no, the media then did what it does best when it comes to politics: it runs away with and obsesses over the more or less meaningless aspects of the story. Some left-wing blogs (most noticeably the Daily Kos) went particularly ape-shit and started publicly questioning whether Governor Palin's four-month old baby was hers or her daughter's. Is this kind of "journalism" going too far? Well, I think it is, but then I thought it was going too far when the mainstream media – not right-wing blogs, mind you – publicly questioned, without a shred of evidence, whether or not the Clintons had murdered longtime confidant Vince Foster during the Whitewater investigation. Where was right-wing outrage over that completely irresponsible and disrespectful bit of media coverage? Oh, wait – that was a-ok because it had the off-chance of bringing down the dreaded Clinton political machine. Kind of like how it was a-ok for the mainstream media to obsessively investigate President Clinton's private life in order to uncover the Monica Lewinsky affair. Yeah, I can't recall too many Republicans publicly declaring that the media was showing a lack of respect and deference toward President Clinton during that sorry excuse for congressional abuse of power. The list could go on and on and on, but you get the idea.

The idea is simple: as always, it is the patented Republican hypocrisy that makes the McCain campaign's cry of media unfairness so ridiculous. The media constantly ran stories and aired "analysis" by conservatives that belittled and/or defamed Barack Obama (along with just about any Democrat who happens to be on the national radar as well, e.g. Tim Kaine) and convicted Obama through his associations with a controversial religious pastor and a former 1960s radical-turned professor. The very instant one of their own was subjected to the same intense scrutiny, however, Republicans – not right-wing blogs or "mainstream" right-wing media, but nationally recognized members of the Republican Party itself – pulled out the victim card and claimed that the mainstream media was treating their candidate more harshly than the Democratic Party's candidate. Very few in the mainstream media, however, will point out the obvious: the Republican Party knows damn well that the media is not treating Sarah Palin unfairly. Ultimately, though, who will care? Nobody. Well, nobody other than well educated and well informed Obama supporters and independents. Why? Because the GOP's constant cry of left-wing media bias still seems to work, so they will play the victim card as a means of shielding Governor Palin from the expectations placed on every Vice Presidential candidate who ever came before her. Then the GOP will forbid the media from conducting any completely unscripted interviews with Governor Palin, and they will cry liberal wolf every time the media uncovers anything new and unsavory about the inexperienced candidate. And then the mainstream media will follow the lead of the poor, helpless, victimized Republicans and refuse to obsess over Palin's private or public life the way it obsessed over every detail of the whereabouts of President Clinton's penis, the misquoted (but valid) claims of Al Gore, the completely evidence-free assertions of the Swift Boat Veterans for [cough] Truth, the exact cost of every haircut John Edwards ever received, the controversial sermons delivered by Barack Obama's longtime pastor (whether or not Obama was present during or even approving of these sermons), the one-time failure of Joseph Biden to cite the source of a quote he had cited every previous instance he had used the quote in similar speeches - etc, etc, etc.

Then, because of the mainstream media's spineless capitulation to the Republican Party's victimization act, there will remain the outside chance – and terrifying prospect – that John McCain, despite being a warmongering, near-senile dipshit, will win the 2008 presidential election after all.

153 Down, 6 To Go

The 200 block of Vinet Ave in Old Jefferson is one of only six blocks in that neighborhood still without power. An Entergy representative informed me today that power would "definitely be restored by September 9." Of course, just yesterday I was told that power would "definitely be restored by September 8," so the the word "definitely" obviously doesn't have the same meaning for Entergy as it does for the rest of the English-speaking population. All of which means that, if Hurricane Ike follows its projected path, there is an outside chance that by the time I get power back I'll have to evacuate the very next fucking day.

Yeah, I can't wait to see how this situation plays out . . .