William Kristol Meets Rudyard Kipling (and the results are not pretty)

Neocon columnist William Kristol wrote yet another inspiring op-ed this week, one that may be his most memorable ever. In it, he uses George Orwell's analysis of Rudyard Kipling – in which Orwell suggested that while Kipling was "morally insensitive and aesthetically disgusting" in his endorsement of British imperialism, he gained credibility because, as a member of the ruling class, Kipling had a "certain grip on reality," which forced him to "at least imagine what action and responsibility are like" – to suggest that Republicans are like Kipling because their dominance of the executive branch gives them a certain grip on reality while the Democrats are like the general opposition in that their only responsibility is to oppose those in power and not come up with any ideas of their own. Kristol's op-ed then veers off a cliff while trying to explain how House Democrats are irresponsibly opposing the FISA bill with retroactive immunity for the telecom companies that participated in the illegal wiretapping program started by President Bush while the responsible Republicans, because of that "certain grip on reality" that comes with having been in power so long, are being prevented from efficiently carrying out the duties of government. Yeah, I know what you're thinking – William Kristol's a comedy writer?!!? Apparently so:


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/18/opinion/18kristol.html


First I want to address Kristol's new-found insights into Rudyard Kipling and the British & American Empires. Kristol's comparison of Republican presidential power to Rudyard Kipling's elitism is quite amusing. For once Kristol was on the right track, but as usual, he missed the mark. He argued that Republicans in power have that "certain grip on reality" – and presumably a better grip on how to govern – because of the responsibility of having resided in the White House for 28 of the past 40 years, much in the same way Rudyard Kipling had a firm grip on reality as a member of British Empire that ruled India for so long. Unfortunately, Mr. Kristol ended his comparison right there and used it as a springboard for a ridiculous, myth-based attack on the House Democrats, who (for once) failed to cater to the hyperbolized demands of the ever-petulant George II.


Let's see what this comparison would have looked like had Mr. Kristol not taken the easy way out and ended it so abruptly. Like Kipling, those in charge of the GOP are members of an elite, wealthy, powerful and mostly white party burdened with the responsibility of "protecting" its subjects. Only this wealthy and powerful party, like its British forerunner, has acted not in the best interests of its subjects, but instead acted in the best interests of itself. (And, my how this party has succeeded in acting on its own behalf: running up huge deficits while cutting taxes for the wealthiest few despite not having the proper funding to send our nation's fine but ill-equipped soldiers to fight an ill-conceived war based on lies and expired "evidence" that nets huge profits for companies owned by friends of the wealthy and powerful party in control – all the while hiring incompetent industry-protecting cronies to lead government agencies designed to protect the general public.) And when its subjects become understandably upset about their treatment, the party of wealth and power tries to retain control by any means necessary. Luckily for U.S citizens, we have a luxury the subjects of British rule did not have: an election every four years by which to recall our rulers, provided the results are not manipulated by a party as desperate to retain power now as it was desperate to gain power back in 2000. As long as the public can see through the ruling party's desperate attempts to retain power – in this case lying (yet again) to scare the votes out of its subjects – they will be able to rationally decide their own fate – a fate that most likely will not be advantageous to the ruling class.


It's no wonder Mr. Kristol – a prominent member of the elite, wealthy and powerful Republican ruling class – decided not to pursue his comparison to its logical end. In case you didn't notice, the Union Jack no longer flies over India.


Now let's move on to the second part of Kristol's exercise in daftness, wherein he criticizes the Democrats for putting the American people in jeopardy because of their baseless opposition to Bush's preferred FISA bill. Kristol, like the rest of the hyenas in the GOP elite, asserts without any kind of evience that if the government does not grant the telecom companies retroactive immunity, they will be "less likely" to lend their assistance in the future. This assertion is ridiculous and outrageously false, as is the rabid right's insistence that as of now we are not being protected because of the inaction of House Democrats.


For the record, Mr. Kristol: we are still being protected as of this moment because the current authorizations granted by the expired legislation allow the agencies to gather information until "the August, September time-frame," according to National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell in an NPR interview. Furthermore, according to Vice Adm. McConnell in that same interview, the "issue is liability protection for the private sector." In other words, even though President Bush knew intelligence gathering authorizations didn't expire until later this year, he allowed the authorizing legislation itself to expire in an effort to scare the public into believing we didn't have the authority to gather intelligence and protect the country while conveniently being able to falsely blame Democrats for allowing anti-terror tactics to be forbidden immediately. Why would President Bush do such a thing, besides his obviously authoritarian compulsion to frighten people into submitting to his will? It's because those annoying House Democrats believe in the Constitution and rule of law and, thus, oppose granting retroactive immunity to telecom companies that participated in the same illegal wiretapping program in which other telecom companies (such as Qwest and T-Mobile, who doubted the plan's legality) refused to participate. Because President Bush insists this retroactive immunity is imperative to any intelligence gathering bill even though it clearly isn't – like other industries, the telecom companies are required to work with the government when its request is legal – his perpetually promised veto of the FISA bill that does not include retroactive immunity stands as the true act that could potentially imperil our nation. Simply put, President Bush lied to the American people yet again in order to scare the cheese out of them while establishing a more authoritarian executive branch with fewer of the checks and balances that make the citizens of this country truly safe from its own government's malfeasance, something the Founding Fathers rightfully feared much more than the attacks of outside aggressors.


It should come as no surprise to anybody who's been paying attention to Mr. Kristol's written and oral commentary over the years that he would use lies, distortions and inaccuracies – intentionally or otherwise – to sway the public to agree with his point of view. How this "gentleman" receives a national platform in any outlet other than his own magazine is beyond my comprehension. Since newspapers such as the New York Times and Times-Picayune will not act responsibly and find an honest conservative commentator (assuming one actually exists) to print, our only hope is that readers take the responsibility upon themselves and ignore Mr. Kristol's dreck until he goes the way of Rudyard Kipling.

Let's be serious - the 2008 Presidential Election boils down to one thing:

are the Republicans going to be able to steal enough states to "win" again? Seriously - is there any other truly relevant aspect to this election? I don’t think so. Take a look at the deck currently stacked against the GOP going into this election.

The incumbent President, who happens to be a Republican, is a near-complete disaster: the war in Iraq appears endless; the budget and trade deficits are skyrocketing to record heights; the economy is tanking toward a recession some analysts fear could be the worst since the Great Depression; the housing market is imploding, and now one credit card company has decided to raise interest rates for no reason whatsoever even for cardholders with excellent credit ratings; civil liberties have been sacrificed in the name of "national security" even though some of them had been sacrificed even before 9-11; the toy industry is slowly trying to kill our children; the healthcare industry is quickly trying to kill just about everyone but the wealthy; and Britney is in danger of being committed. Can the state of the country plummet any further? (Of course it can, stupid - Dick Cheney’s still alive!)

Next obstacle up for the Republicans is their horrible voting record in congress, though some credit has to be given to the spineless wonder known as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (who inexplicably allows Republicans to bypass traditional filibusters requiring senators to be physically present and speaking in order to extend debate while requiring some Democratic senators to stand up and physically extend the debate, such as he did when requiring Senator Christopher Dodd and his colleagues to stand before the senate and give a day’s worth of speeches to extend debate on the FISA bill). Some people may complain that the Democrats have been a "do nothing" majority since taking over last year, but it’s quickly becoming public knowledge that the reason this Democratic-led congress is doing nothing rests in the actions of their perpetually filibustering counterparts in the GOP. Congress had a record seventy filibusters in 2007 (most of them orchestrated by bitter, castrated Republicans) and is on a pace for over 200 filibusters for 2008 (though the most prominent filibuster attempt is being led as we speak by the aforementioned Senator Dodd, who opposes granting retroactive immunity for telecommunications companies that participated in the blatantly illegal wiretapping program started before 9-11). The Republicans’ biggest mistake, however, was not overriding President Bush’s heartless veto of the popular SCHIP expansion bill, which would have extended much needed healthcare benefits to middle class families who are too poor to afford health insurance but too "wealthy" to qualify for Medicaid and which had the endorsement of forty state governors. The importance of healthcare cannot be understated - it’s an issue that affects everybody - and the GOP’s insistence on accepting President Bush’s veto of this bill is the blunder that should seal their collective fate in 2008.

Another obstacle for the Republicans is, ironically, money: the Democrats are actually raising more money than their wealthier Republican counterparts, which raises the obvious follow-up question: if Republicans are not throwing their money at any of their candidates, are they at least throwing their money back into the economy? Don’t hold your breath, folks.

The fourth major roadblock facing the Republican Party is a roadblock of their own creation: voter apathy. The Republican "base" - that is, Faux News and anyone stupid enough or living in sufficient enough denial to still watch it - despises its party’s all-but-chosen candidate, John McCain (though I’m still not sure why that small band of uncompromising Neocon elitists is considered the base - that’s a matter for another entry). Because of this indifference (and disillusionment), Republican voters are avoiding the primaries and caucasus as fervently as they avoid any kind of critical self-examination, so much so that Barack Obama received more votes in the Democratic primary in South Carolina than did the top two contenders combined in that same state’s Republican primary. Ouch. And even then, the true Republican Party base - that is, the voters (and you thought it was Ann Coulter) - have eliminated all of the chosen candidates of the Faux News elitists (Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson and Mitt Romney), leaving only "liberal" conservatives Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee and John McCain to battle for the nomination. How heavy does the hammer dropping on the head of William Kristol & Co have to be for them to realize that their policies, in the opinion of both liberals and moderates, simply are not working? I don’t know about you, but I would pay to watch Roger Ailes try to sleep at night these days!

So, to summarize the GOP’s troubles: the country’s heading straight for oblivion via the A-Train, and it’s basically all their fault; and because of this trajectory, the Republicans cannot generate enough cash or voter interest to keep up with the Democratic candidates. In fact, the most recent polls reveal that, if the election were being held today, an inexperienced black dude from Illinois would defeat a white war hero from out west - THAT is how bad things are for the Republican Party right now. Obviously, there’s only one solution to their problems - and, just their luck, it’s the only thing at which they truly excel: stealing elections!!! With things going this bad, stealing one state and then getting an assist from the Supreme Court (or, more conveniently, the Democratic candidate) is probably not going to be enough. No, it appears that the Republicans are going to have to count on plenty more than their usual tricks to keep the Presidency another four years. My guess is that, along with multiple state election thefts and the customary support of the five partisan crooks on the Supreme Court, Republicans are also going to need a revival of No, No, Nanette, a Cubs World Series victory parade and the alignment of all eight planets in the solar system to "win" the White House this time around.

Good luck, Republicans.