Life Is Sweet

Saints 31, Falcons 13. And the Saints completed a "Hail Mary" pass at the end of the first half, which, though not quite making up for 1978's end-of-the-game Steve Bartkowski-to-Alfred Jackson game-winner for the Falcons, was extremely satisfying nonetheless. The Saints won both of their games against the hated Falcons this year, so life truly is sweet.

Committing Suicide the Murray Rizberg Way

I ate fried chicken for lunch -- for the third straight day, that is. I'm sure there are more rational, efficient (though obviously less delicious) ways of killing oneself, but apparently I have no interest in trying them. So I will stay the course and continue my suicide by fried chicken consumption method for now.

George W. Bush Attains Enlightenment

Well, folks, perhaps there are such things as miracles. On Wednesday, November 8, 2006, before our very eyes -- and recorded for all of us to repeat for verification -- was President George W. Bush reaching complete enlightenment. Yes, the same man who asked the question, "Is our children learning?", the same man who wanted never to have to make explanations that he couldn't explain, and the same man who urged fanatical, blood-thirsty, suicidal extremists to come out and try to kill members of his own military, has reached enlightenment. Simply put: the impossible is now reality. The proof of Bush's elevation to enlightenment came in a press conference after control of the House of Representatives had been seized by the rival Democrats, wherein Bush pondered the previous day's events with evidence of his new-found wisdom:

"I thought we [Republicans] had a pretty good shot . . . shows what I know!"

Yes, George, the 2006 mid-term elections showed everybody exactly what you know: absolutely nothing. Enjoy your last two years in office, fuckface!

One Word

It appears that the Democrats have gained the majority in the Senate. Incumbent Senator from Virginia George Allen has all but conceded the only undecided Senate race to his Democratic opponent Jim Webb (a former Republican who not only served as Secretary of the Navy under Ronnie Reagan, but who also once claimed to have been made sick by the sight of Bill Clinton's returning the salute of a U.S. Marine). What I find so fascinating about this turn of events is the fact that, after all of the nasty campaigning and electioneering by both parties and their minions, the shift in Congressional control came as the result of one single word: "Macaca."

I wonder if Senator Allen still thinks that word is funny now.