American Morons

Here are a couple of comments posted on CNN's message board about the Iraq War. These comments expose the absolute clueslessness of a great number of the American public. Enjoy . . .

Daniel Benson wrote (about the Iraq War): "I am forced to back the President because he is the only one with a plan."

Herb Conner wrote: "Those who think that Iraq does not have an affect in the war on terror have their heads stuck in the sand. They are clueless. Why do you think the terrorists are spending so much time in Iraq now? Duh!"

It should be noted that I posted responses to both of these ludicrous statements on that same message board, but only a severely edited version of my response to Mr. Benson was posted. How fucking typical: somebody makes some fucking sense in criticising Republican policy and throws in a joke at the expense of a Democrat, and the joke gets edited out. Here were my responses to these two morons:

To Mr. Benson (who wrote: "I am forced to back the President because he is the only one with a plan.") - Bush has a plan?!!? That's a new development. Please elaborate on this plan because I would love to know more about it. Better yet, send a copy of this mythical plan to the troops who are dying more rapidly than ever in Iraq so that they know what they're in for. Face the facts: Bush, Cheney, and Rummy have no plan. They never did because they didn't expect this inusrgency to be so strong, despite plenty of warning from Bush's own father as well as James Baker and a host of current military strategists. And for the record: some Democrats, such as Senator Joseph Biden, do have a plan (though I can't verify that Biden's plan wasn't plagiarized from a Republican plan).

To Mr. Conner (who wrote: "Those who think that Iraq does not have an affect in the war on terror have their heads stuck in the sand. They are clueless. Why do you think the terrorists are spending so much time in Iraq now? Duh!") - Well, sir, here's your obvious answer: because Bush, Cheney, and Rummy have given them thousands of FREE targets! Duh! Why would terrorists go all the way to the mainland United States to attack Americans when they can stay in the Middle East and attack Americans? DUH!!!

Al-Jazeera Pulls a Fast One!

So apparently this United States diplomat went to an interview on Al-Jazeera and told his interviewer something that anybody with any common sense and a basic knowledge of history already knows about the Iraq War:

"I think there is a big possibility (inaudible) for extreme criticism and because undoubtedly there was arrogance and stupidity from the United States in Iraq."

Not exactly enlightening to me or anything, that statement is extremely shocking not only because it came from the mouth of somebody in the Bush administration, but also because it is rational and based on actual facts and evidence.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/22/fernandez.statement/index.html

Yes, Mr. Fernandez was correct about the "arrogance and stupidity" on the United States' part of the Iraq War. He did forget naivete, of course, but arrogance and stupidity definitely describe a great number of Bush administration officials' comments about this war:

1. Dick Cheney - "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."

2. President Bush - "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualities."

3. President Bush - "My answer is bring 'em on!"

4. Dick Cheney - "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the Iraq insurgency"

And that's just a quick sampler of public comments; who knows what kind of the stupid, arrogant shit they've said behind close doors while forming policy. Clearly Mr. Fernandez knew exactly what would cause him to mention the fact that the U.S. was guilty of arrogance and stupidity in the Iraq War.

But that interview was on Friday. The truth of that interview has come out today: apparently Mr. Fernandez's words were not properly translated by Al-Jazeera. Evidently, Mr. Fernandez was not, in fact, the first current Bush administration official to use logic and evidence to generate an accurate, sensible thought about his superiors' policies and actions, as we had been led to believe by earlier accounts of his interview. A new translation of Mr. Fernandez's interview reveals his intended comments: "All the evidence is there: we were greeted as liberators, fought off a few pesky insurgent gnats, and -- just as Jesus Christ our Lord had spoken righteously through the words of his messengers George W. Bush and Dick Cheney -- Iraq is now a democracy. This has been God's plan all along, and because of the wisdom of Donald Rumsfeld, it has come to being. Praise Jesus Christ the King and Savior!" I guess that didn't make much sense to the translators at Al-Jazeera, who fiendishly came up with the "arrogance and stupidity" angle, if only to curse and take away the job of the infidel Alberto Fernandez.

It was a nice try, Al-Jazeera, but Bush & Co. know better than that. Explained one senior White House official, "I can only assume his remarks must have been mistranslated. Those comments obviously don't reflect our policy." And exactly what policy is he talking about? Oh, I forgot -- the standard Bush/Cheney policy of humility, intelligence, reason, and preparedness that has been the hallmark of this unanimously successful Iraq War. Silly me.

I do feel sorry for Mr. Fernandez, however, because his mistranslated words are going to cost him. While Bush will surely forgive Mr. Fernandez to his face, Mr. Fernandez almost assuredly will be transferred by the State Department -- to a secret prison in Europe just as a precaution under the new Military Commissions Act. But don't cry too long for Mr. Fernandez; after all, he voted for President Bush, so he would merely be receiving the justice he deserves in this case.

The Next Logical Step

So President Bush came out today and declared that he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department's reports about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watchlists. In this same signing statement -- which is more or less a President's way of saying, "I'll sign this bill because I have no legitmate grounds for not signing it, but I will, of course, simply exempt myself from its authority" -- Bush also said he would disregard a requirement that the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) must have had at least five years experience and "demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management and homeland security." What could be the wise and insightful Mr. Bush's reasoning for wanting to ignore this requirement? Well, according to this report, Bush's rationale was that it "rules out a large portion of those persons best qualified by experience and knowledge to fill the office."

Oh . . . I see. Running the pony show for a few years is excellent training for overseeing the federal government's response to a national disaster, but being the director of, say, a state-run emergency management team would land you a job taking orders at the Steak 'N' Shake, I guess. Oh, Mr. Bush, Mr. Bush. I just don't understand the way your brain works. In fact, I would sooner see the logic in somebody's desire to eat his own poo before I understand the logic of your political philosphy. Oh, wait -- that's not true -- I do understand your political philosophy, which conveniently acts as your personal philosophy, your academic philosophy, and your business philosophy all-in-one: one of daddy's friends will take care of it when I screw it up! And this is the guy who has just declared that he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department's reports! Wouldn't one have to have the power to read the reports before having the power to edit them? What is he going to edit, the font?!!? "Let's type this report in Princetown next time so we can pretend we're back at Yale in a meeting of the Skull and Bones!"

Look, why doesn't Bush just quit wasting everyone's time and take the next logical step. Lusting for even more of the power he did nothing whatsoever to obtain on his own, Bush should next declare, "I now have the authority to do whatever the fuck I want to do! Deal with that, Congressional peons!"

Nothing More Needs To Be Said

Here's Massachusetts Representative Barney Frank's one-sentence summary of all that makes the Republican Party so fucked up:

"The hypocrisy of the Republicans is that they have more concern for a gay man who misbehaves than for fair treatment of gays who don't misbehave."

Case closed.