The Next Logical Step

So President Bush came out today and declared that he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department's reports about whether it obeys privacy rules while handling background checks, ID cards and watchlists. In this same signing statement -- which is more or less a President's way of saying, "I'll sign this bill because I have no legitmate grounds for not signing it, but I will, of course, simply exempt myself from its authority" -- Bush also said he would disregard a requirement that the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) must have had at least five years experience and "demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management and homeland security." What could be the wise and insightful Mr. Bush's reasoning for wanting to ignore this requirement? Well, according to this report, Bush's rationale was that it "rules out a large portion of those persons best qualified by experience and knowledge to fill the office."

Oh . . . I see. Running the pony show for a few years is excellent training for overseeing the federal government's response to a national disaster, but being the director of, say, a state-run emergency management team would land you a job taking orders at the Steak 'N' Shake, I guess. Oh, Mr. Bush, Mr. Bush. I just don't understand the way your brain works. In fact, I would sooner see the logic in somebody's desire to eat his own poo before I understand the logic of your political philosphy. Oh, wait -- that's not true -- I do understand your political philosophy, which conveniently acts as your personal philosophy, your academic philosophy, and your business philosophy all-in-one: one of daddy's friends will take care of it when I screw it up! And this is the guy who has just declared that he has the power to edit the Homeland Security Department's reports! Wouldn't one have to have the power to read the reports before having the power to edit them? What is he going to edit, the font?!!? "Let's type this report in Princetown next time so we can pretend we're back at Yale in a meeting of the Skull and Bones!"

Look, why doesn't Bush just quit wasting everyone's time and take the next logical step. Lusting for even more of the power he did nothing whatsoever to obtain on his own, Bush should next declare, "I now have the authority to do whatever the fuck I want to do! Deal with that, Congressional peons!"