Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Let's be serious - the 2008 Presidential Election boils down to one thing:

are the Republicans going to be able to steal enough states to "win" again? Seriously - is there any other truly relevant aspect to this election? I don’t think so. Take a look at the deck currently stacked against the GOP going into this election.

The incumbent President, who happens to be a Republican, is a near-complete disaster: the war in Iraq appears endless; the budget and trade deficits are skyrocketing to record heights; the economy is tanking toward a recession some analysts fear could be the worst since the Great Depression; the housing market is imploding, and now one credit card company has decided to raise interest rates for no reason whatsoever even for cardholders with excellent credit ratings; civil liberties have been sacrificed in the name of "national security" even though some of them had been sacrificed even before 9-11; the toy industry is slowly trying to kill our children; the healthcare industry is quickly trying to kill just about everyone but the wealthy; and Britney is in danger of being committed. Can the state of the country plummet any further? (Of course it can, stupid - Dick Cheney’s still alive!)

Next obstacle up for the Republicans is their horrible voting record in congress, though some credit has to be given to the spineless wonder known as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (who inexplicably allows Republicans to bypass traditional filibusters requiring senators to be physically present and speaking in order to extend debate while requiring some Democratic senators to stand up and physically extend the debate, such as he did when requiring Senator Christopher Dodd and his colleagues to stand before the senate and give a day’s worth of speeches to extend debate on the FISA bill). Some people may complain that the Democrats have been a "do nothing" majority since taking over last year, but it’s quickly becoming public knowledge that the reason this Democratic-led congress is doing nothing rests in the actions of their perpetually filibustering counterparts in the GOP. Congress had a record seventy filibusters in 2007 (most of them orchestrated by bitter, castrated Republicans) and is on a pace for over 200 filibusters for 2008 (though the most prominent filibuster attempt is being led as we speak by the aforementioned Senator Dodd, who opposes granting retroactive immunity for telecommunications companies that participated in the blatantly illegal wiretapping program started before 9-11). The Republicans’ biggest mistake, however, was not overriding President Bush’s heartless veto of the popular SCHIP expansion bill, which would have extended much needed healthcare benefits to middle class families who are too poor to afford health insurance but too "wealthy" to qualify for Medicaid and which had the endorsement of forty state governors. The importance of healthcare cannot be understated - it’s an issue that affects everybody - and the GOP’s insistence on accepting President Bush’s veto of this bill is the blunder that should seal their collective fate in 2008.

Another obstacle for the Republicans is, ironically, money: the Democrats are actually raising more money than their wealthier Republican counterparts, which raises the obvious follow-up question: if Republicans are not throwing their money at any of their candidates, are they at least throwing their money back into the economy? Don’t hold your breath, folks.

The fourth major roadblock facing the Republican Party is a roadblock of their own creation: voter apathy. The Republican "base" - that is, Faux News and anyone stupid enough or living in sufficient enough denial to still watch it - despises its party’s all-but-chosen candidate, John McCain (though I’m still not sure why that small band of uncompromising Neocon elitists is considered the base - that’s a matter for another entry). Because of this indifference (and disillusionment), Republican voters are avoiding the primaries and caucasus as fervently as they avoid any kind of critical self-examination, so much so that Barack Obama received more votes in the Democratic primary in South Carolina than did the top two contenders combined in that same state’s Republican primary. Ouch. And even then, the true Republican Party base - that is, the voters (and you thought it was Ann Coulter) - have eliminated all of the chosen candidates of the Faux News elitists (Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson and Mitt Romney), leaving only "liberal" conservatives Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee and John McCain to battle for the nomination. How heavy does the hammer dropping on the head of William Kristol & Co have to be for them to realize that their policies, in the opinion of both liberals and moderates, simply are not working? I don’t know about you, but I would pay to watch Roger Ailes try to sleep at night these days!

So, to summarize the GOP’s troubles: the country’s heading straight for oblivion via the A-Train, and it’s basically all their fault; and because of this trajectory, the Republicans cannot generate enough cash or voter interest to keep up with the Democratic candidates. In fact, the most recent polls reveal that, if the election were being held today, an inexperienced black dude from Illinois would defeat a white war hero from out west - THAT is how bad things are for the Republican Party right now. Obviously, there’s only one solution to their problems - and, just their luck, it’s the only thing at which they truly excel: stealing elections!!! With things going this bad, stealing one state and then getting an assist from the Supreme Court (or, more conveniently, the Democratic candidate) is probably not going to be enough. No, it appears that the Republicans are going to have to count on plenty more than their usual tricks to keep the Presidency another four years. My guess is that, along with multiple state election thefts and the customary support of the five partisan crooks on the Supreme Court, Republicans are also going to need a revival of No, No, Nanette, a Cubs World Series victory parade and the alignment of all eight planets in the solar system to "win" the White House this time around.

Good luck, Republicans.

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