Why Murray Rizberg Should Be Filthy Fucking Rich: Reason No. 652

Because then, when I find myself stuck behind somebody who insists upon using the antiquated, seemingly endless process of writing a check instead of using a check card, I could just say to the person very politely, "You're such a nice, sweet person -- please -- allow me to pay for your items today! No, really -- I insist." Because in the time it takes these people to find their checkbooks, then find their pens, then find their ID's, then get the total amount of the bill, then write the date on the check, then attempt to recall their own first names, then ask the cashier what the total was, then write down half that total, then ask the cashier to repeat that total just one more freakin' time, then write the rest of the check, then sign the check, then hand it to the cashier, then watch as the cashier goes through the 47-step process of validating and recording the check, then filing the receipt, then recording the transaction in the checkbook, then finding his/her keys and then, at fucking last, getting the fuck out of my way so I can purchase my one fucking item -- after all of that -- I realize that I could have spent that time better by going back to school, getting my biology and medicine degrees, joining a research team and discovering the cure for restless leg syndrome. Instead, I will have wasted it while some fuckhead writes a fucking check. Great.