Thursday, June 1, 2006

The Unstoppable Force


I cannot stop watching "Law & Order: Criminal Intent." There is no resistance. Help is needed.

Damn you, Dick Wolf! Damn you and your "Law & Order" machine! I know I am not the only human who's been turned into a television viewing automaton by your sinister "Law & Order" conglomerate. On behalf of all my "Law & Order" automaton brethren, damn you, Dick Wolf! And damn you, too, Vincent D'Onofrio! Damn you and all your ticks! Damn you and your peculiar way of talking! And damn you and your unstoppable ability to solve the crime! And damn you, Kathryn Erbe! Damn you and your horrible hairdo! You live in the biggest damn city in North America and you still can't find a competent stylist? Damn you again! And damn you, Jamey Sheridan! Damn your understated masculinity! My colossal man-crush on you haunts me! Damn you, Courtney Vance! Damn your eloquence and logic! Damn your fashion sense! Damn everything about you and that damn show you inhabit! Damn all of you "Law & Order" bastards! I want my life back! I want it back! Damn you all!

No comments:

Post a Comment