Fuckin' Jeter

Fuckin' Jeter . . .

Can't we pass a law or something?

Madonna is back in the news again, but only because this Evel Knievel of the music-industrial complex wanted to be; otherwise, the general public might finally figure out that she's nothing more than a talentless attention whore who was spanked once too seldomly by her papa.

What could she have done now to merit any more attention? Apparently this lapsed little Catholic girl staged a mock crucifixion (of herself, naturally, as any any self-respecting meglomaniac would do) just miles away from the Vatican, who officially had announced its displeasure with the Material Whore's plans. Here's an on-line article:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/07/italy.madonna.reut/index.html

We'll forgive the Vatican for even publicly commenting on Madonna's latest publicity stunt (just as I'm sure that, deep in their hearts, they're forgiving Madonna for even thinking of the stunt). By now they should realize that, like a spoiled child who desperately craves any kind of attention, Madonna survives only because people such as the Vatican members themselves do nothing but fuel her desire for even more attention -- and you would think priests might know a little thing or two about child psychology, wouldn't you?

Again, Madonna's straddling a gigantic steel pole while singing "Like a Virgin" with a big, shit-eating grin on her face is about as news-worthy as somebody in the Bush adminstration defending the actions of somebody else in the Bush administration. Logically, if it happens all the time, it's not really news-worthy (unless the consistency itself is an aberration in the bigger context, of course -- see Tiger Woods).

The real problem, then, is that anybody protesting Madonna's publicity stunts is protesting the wrong thing. Rather than protesting Madonna's latest shallow attempt at making a statement, he should be protesting the stagnate legislative community's failure to pass laws allowing entertainers who have aboslutely nothing new to offer to be put to sleep, much like a crippled and completely useless race horse.

Time is not on your side, Madonna. I hope for your sake that you do something legitimately news-worthy, or you might have to join other stars of your caliber who have been put to sleep, like Trigger or Mister Ed.

And, if you want it, my advice to you is to find Mandy Moore as soon as possible; giving her the tongue would be something memorable!

Helpful Translation

Just caught this interesting quote from an AP/Yahoo article about House Republicans who are joining the Democrats in trying to raise the minimum wage:

"Whether people like it or not, we need to go ahead with it," said Rep. Mike Castle, R-Del., who supports the idea. "There's a general agreement among Republicans (opposing the raise) that 'maybe we don't like it much, but we need to move forward with it just for political reasons.'"

"Maybe we don't like it much, but we need to move forward with it just for political reasons."

Could Mr. Castle have been any more blunt in his explanation? Just in case you didn't understand what he said, allow me to translate his words for you: "As Republicans, we really couldn't give two shits about raising the minimum wage to a level anywhere near the true standard of living for you lowly shitheads, but we also don't want to lose our jobs because of something as silly as the minimum wage, so we'll go ahead and raise it for you."

Wow, you just gotta' love that "compassionate conservatism," don't you?

Still nothing else to do . . .

This blog entry arrives very late from Rochester, NY. It occurred to me earlier today that I never mentioned the stupidity of a comment made by Vice President Dick Cheney during an interview with cnn.com. In the interview, Cheney stressed the importance of not giving into the Democrats desire to cut and run out of Iraq, but instead stay the course until a stable *cough-cough* government has been set up. Cheney then explained that it doesn't matter where we go, they [terrorists] will find us. He then explained how they've found us in various places around the world over the last few years. Now -- and here's where common sense enters the picture -- there's just one thing Cheney forgot to mention about terrorists attacking us in Iraq: they wouldn't be attacking us in Iraq had we not illegally invaded it in the first place! So, by invading Iraq -- against the will of the international community, against the wishes of many of our own Congressmen and citizens, against the advice of George H. W. Bush, and against common sense itself -- Bush & Co. simply opened up a front where terrorists could directly attack Americans where they could not have attacked us before. Now that makes a truck-load of common fuckin' sense, doesn't it?

Who voted to re-elect these dumb-fuckin' pricks, anyway? I think we ought to ship all those assholes (and there's no doubt that having voted for Bush/Cheney means you're an asshole -- see Jan. 28 blog entry) over to fight this unwinnable, self-serving war started by the Bush-Cheney Profit Machine of Doom. If saving a few thousand dollars in taxes was worth this, you should protect those dollars with your own life. Those few thousand dollars is blood money, and it should be your own blood on it, not the blood of those young men and women who don't believe in the purpose of this senseless, shameless attempt at bloody profiteering.

Nothing else to do . . .

Why won't the Yankees just go away? They have absolutely no pitching other than Moose, Wang, and Rivera; they have about five hundred position players on the DL; and Joe Torre is sleepwalking through the season. Nonetheless, they continue to win. And not only do they continue to win, they win more and more often as more and more injuries pile up. Perhaps this is just a cynical Red Sox fan's point-of-view, but if the BoSox were to find themselves in this same predicament, they would have fallen almost completely out of the race by now. Yankee Mystique? I don't know. Maybe they're just that good . . . every stinkin' year? It's so annoying.

Erectile Dysfunction of the Rich & Bombastic

Rush Limbaugh is back in the news, and again it's for illegal possesion of . . . Viagra? Shouldn't he have been sent to prison for life without parole by now -- I mean, that's the way things ought to be, right? Never mind. Here's a link to the short article at CNN.com:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/26/limbaugh.viagra.ap/index.html

Limbaugh's attorney, Roy Black, said that though the Viagra had been prescribed to Mr. Limbaugh, the prescription on the bottle was made out to his doctors "for privacy purposes." Privacy purposes? Everyone knows this guy hasn't been able to sustain a hard-on since Clinton left office! Who's he trying to fool? Worse yet, who's he trying to fuck?!!?

Status

It's 4:20 in the morning, and I'm watching a rerun of the Argentina-Mexico World Cup Quarterfinal match while eating donuts. Has it really come to this? Why the fuck am I not asleep right now? I almost wish I were drunk . . .

Lookout Joe

I think this is the year, folks. I think this is the year that the Senate's most useless member (boy, is that an insult), Joe Lieberman, finally gets voted out of office for being the spineless, pandering, Republican-in-Somebody-Else's clothing that he is. Democratic voters in Connecticut finally will realize that if they really want a Republican Senator, they can pull the other lever; Republican voters, meanwhile, no longer will have to decide between a Democratic candidate who's more conservative than their candidate or a Republican candidate who's more liberal than their oppopnent but keeps the numbers in their favor.

Here's a short list of things that will push Mr. Lieberman to the unemployment line: he's pro-NAFTA; he supports Capital Punishment; he's vehemently in favor of the U.S.-led Iraq War, so much so that he has criticized almost all of his fellow Democrats who oppose the war; he wanted to censor Marilyn Manson; he acted like a holier-than-thou fuckface during the Monica Lewinsky Scandal; he sided with hypocritical hillbilly billionaire doctor Bill Frist and the rest of his sanctimonious Republican asshole comrades in the Terry Schiavo situation; he wants to compromise (read: give in to Bush & Co.) on Social Security; he believes religious faith should be allowed a place in publicly run operations; and finally my favorite: he is in favor of giving hospitals in Connecticut the right not to offer emergency contraceptive pills to rape victims, if to do so would be against the hospital's moral and religious beliefs because -- are you ready for this? -- he believes that Connecticut has enough hospitals not to make it too much of an inconvenience for rape victims to travel between them! I repeat: he is in favor of giving hospitals in Connecticut the right not to offer emergency contraceptive pills to rape victims, if to do so would be against the hospital's moral and religious beliefs because -- are you ready for this? -- he believes that Connecticut has enough hospitals not to make it too much of an inconvenience for rape victims to travel between them! I'm sure the ladies of Connecticut will feel so fortunate to have to travel such a short distance from one conveniently located hospital to another after they've just been raped!!!

Can anyone tell me why this man is in office? As a Democrat no less? What kind of indentity crisis are the Connecticut voters experiencing to cause them to have elected this guy to three consecutive terms by landslide margins?

The irony, of course, is that Lieberman became a Senator by defeating incumbent Republican Lowell Weiker, whose voting record was too liberal for many of his Republican constituents. Lieberman was considered so much more conservative than Weiker that the National Review endorsed Lieberman! Now, if all comes full circle, Lieberman will be voted out of office because his voting record was considered too conservative for his Democratic constituents.

Look out, Joe -- unemployment can be a bitch.

Assholes Doing What Assholes Do Best

Did anybody else notice that the U.S. Congress just gave itself another payraise?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/13/congress.payraise.ap/index.html

The raise is being labeled as a "cost of living" measure. I don't know about you, but I find it fascinating that the cost of living increases every year for incompetent public servants, yet seems to remain the same for minimum wage workers. Perhaps a short consultation with a professional economist -- preferably one of a conservative bent -- can explain this phenomenon.

Who needs reality?

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/013/734azcei.asp

Did I read that second sentence correctly? Did Mr. Kristol really write, "Millions of Americans feel bad for Scooter Libby's family"? Does he really believe that millions of Americans give a shit about some war-mongering, far-right, piece-of-shit elitist liar? Surely you jest, Mr. Kristol. And what was that about an injustice that had been done? To Mr. Libby this injustice has been done? No, not to the members of our armed services does Mr. Kristol claim that these injustices have been done - those same members of the armed services who were sent to Iraq on a bunch of Fascist, uh, I mean Neocon lies carefully orchestrated by Mr. Kristol, Mr. Libby and all of their hawkish friends (who never actually bothered to serve in the military themselves) and then swallowed hook, line and sinker by the gullible "liberal-biased" media. I guess nobody of Mr. Kristol's privileged status believes these men and women and their families deserve an apology for that injustice, nor will anybody of Mr. Kristol's privileged status deem these men and women and their families worthy of an apology when they return from this doomed war and discover that their health benefits have been cut by the very same privileged group of daydreamers that sent them off in the first place. Oh, but for the innocent, downtrodden Mr. Libby and his family we are supposed to shed our tears, America.

Please. This whole tragicomedy begs the question: in exactly what universe does Mr. Kristol live? It is patently obvious that reality is nothing more than a petty nuisance to him and his cohorts, and that they are so far removed from reality the only thing that could possibly lead them back to it is death. But I'm not going to hold my breath for that kind of justice; the Mr. Libby's of the world don't receive that kind of justice, they only hand it out.